Friendship is much more complicated than it seems. I bring up friendship on todays blog entry, because recently I have seen and heard of two people who were affected severely by choosing the wrong friends. I myself had the unfortunate experience of choosing the wrong friend.
Most people tend to think that the precise nature of their friends does not matter. I myself have been and still am not too picky – if someone had the same interest in me, I quickly added them as a friend. I used to have a friend at university that had them same musical interest as I had, but our ideologies were not the same. This didn’t influence me at all and we both had respect for the others viewpoint, although obviously trying to influence the other to change their mind. This however drastically changed when I got married and had kids. He got the idea in his head that I had to be liberated from family life and overstepped the boundries on my moral values. Luckily I ended it right then and there, as the situation might have become more volatile and could have blown up in my face. The following two stories are recent ones that also indicates the importance of having the right friends.
The first persons sad story is about the brother of a friend of mine. The victim had a friend that was apparently known for criminal activities – so much so that nobody wanted to help him anymore. Except of course our good natured victim. He helped him when nobody else would and even lost some money. When he didn’t get his money back he tried to pull out of the friendship. Unfortunately the friends criminal mind got to work as soon as he saw his only friend desert him. He wrote a forged letter and faxed it to our victim’s employer. Seeing as above victim was in a high position and working with large currencies, his work was immediately suspended. Even though he proved his innocence later, he was asked to resign due to assocation with a known criminal. He is still trying to put his life together again.
The second sad story is that of someone who works with me. She married a person who has come from overseas. They established a work for him here and they finally got everything up and going. Apparently her newfound husband’s nephew was a friend of his (even had the same name) and he also wanted to immigrate. So they made a plan and got him into the country. The nephew got involved then with one of her friends. They all clubbed together and started a shop. Unfortunately it soon became apparent that the nephew was helping himself at the till. The relationship quickly started to turn sour. She asked her friend what is going on and tried to remedy the situation, but found that her friend has suddenly turned blind eye to her new found love’s actions – she refused to help and stood by the nephew’s side. After great difficulty they finally managed to buy the cafe from the nephew and his girlfriend, but it involved a lot fights and legal support. The situation came to a climax last Saturday afternoon, when the nephew shot her husband twice – once in the head and once in the body. We have heard he is currently pulling through, but still not in the safety zone yet.
So all I can say is choose your friends carefully, and make sure their ideals are the same as yours. Especially if you are planning to have business dealings. Just as married people should never expect to marry someone and then change them, so one should not choose friends and expect to change them.